Heart Change Matters

The concept of the heart can be rather illusive. It can be a challenge to define exactly what we are referring to when we speak of the heart in a spiritual sense...and practically impossible to explain heart issues to someone who does not use spiritual vocabulary.

These are by no means official explanations, but I do have a simple definition of terms that I use when I am talking with people. I use the word soul to refer to our thoughts, will, and emotions. I use the word spirit to describe that part of us that relates to God. I use the word heart to sort of encompass the magnitude of all that the soul and spirit are together -- the essence of who we are.

These terms matters to me. They matter because the passion of my heart is for restoration; the restoration of lives and hearts into right relationship with God, family, and friends. I often ask myself how restoration actually happens. Interestingly, even though my mind is wide open to consider the endless variety of treatment options and different theories of change, each one I research always points me back to one central theme : the heart.

The heart is the key player in our spiritual, emotional, and physical health. The state of our hearts influence every area of our lives. If it is possible for a heart to genuinely change then that is significant. This truth has the potential to change everything. It matters.

My own heart had been touched by the recent media storm over a family who experienced abuse among their children. My soul and my spirit have been disturbed. As I read articles and watch interviews, I am astounded by the dismissive responses of journalists, psychologists, and citizens to the steps this family has taken in order to get them into a place of restoration.

Have we come so far from healing that we cannot even recognize restoration when we see it?

Doesn't confession, repentance, and restitution mean anything anymore?

Don't twelve years of faithfulness matter?

What will it take for people to be satisfied?

A few weeks ago I spent some time talking with a lovely woman. She is a small-business owner and is quite stylish. She is twelve credits away from her Master's degree in Psychology and she is in an intense custody battle with her ex-husband who has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She was frustrated and frazzled by yet another disappointing experience with him that had left her young daugter even more wounded than she had already been. She looked me directly in the eye and asked me if I believe people can truly change.

I told her that I have to believe that people can change or else I would lose hope.

She responded that she firmly believes that people never change. They can only modify their behavior. As I listened to her explain her reasoning behind her belief, I was struck by the truth of her words. From her perspective, with what she knows to be true, her conclusion is perfectly appropriate.

But what if there is more to it than that?

As I later reflected on her words, a song popped into my head. Actually, it is not a real song. It is just a Bible Verse that I had to memorize during college that I put to a tune so that I could keep it fresh in my mind until I got off work and could go take my verse quiz. (Since I was attending Pensacola Christian College at that time, the verse is naturally in the King James Version.)

1 Corinthians 2:14

"But the natural man receiveth not the things of the spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him neither can he know them: for they are spiritually discerned."

The Holman Christian Standard Bible rewords it slightly.

"But the unbeliever does not welcome what comes from God's Spirit, because it is foolishness to him; he is not able to understand it because it is evaluated spiritually."

Of course people do not connect with us when we start talking about transformation of the heart. They do not understand and therefore do not welcome the idea that there is hope for change in the hearts of the most hopeless people.

This woman doesn't believe anyone can change because her own heart is full of empty promises and broken dreams from a man who uses people as pawns to get what he wants.

The world cannot believe that a fourteen year old boy could actually take responsibility for his actions and heal the heart issues that led him to make bad choices in the first place. That he could then go on to rebuild the trust that he had broken and be restored in relationship with those around him.

It is foolishness to them!

However, when we spiritually evaluate things then everything changes.

We see that while there is never a guarantee of heart change, there is always the potential.

We see that though a heart can change in a moment, it takes time for attitudes and behaviors to shift.

Our hearts are the essence of who we are and if they change then there will be evidence both internally and externally. That is powerful and it absolutely matters.

It is true that some people can simply modify their behavior and then you are able to have some sort of functional relationship with them. That is perhaps a step in the right direction, but we cannot confuse that with true restoration. There may be an admission of guilt, but that is not true confession. There may be a measure of remorse, but that is not true repentance. There may be a reconciliation of some sort, but that is not true restitution.

Genuine heart change includes elements of our soul and spirit -- our thoughts, our will, our emotions, and our relationship with God. It is powerful and it is the path to restoration. It yields results that are unimaginable to those who have not seen or experienced it firsthand.

The fluidity of our hearts is a beautiful thing to me. We are always adapting and growing as we learn and experience. The capacity for change is one of the things I appreciate most about how God created us to be.

Our hearts can harden and grow cold with bitterness. Our hearts can blossom and grow warm with transforming love.

Either way, the change is significant. Heart change always matters.